You ask for it, I give it to you. Ladies and gentleman, number 17 in your program, soon to be number 7231945 in the New York prison system. Plexico Burress.

Does this guy have any idea how fucked he is? Why on Earth would you even take the risk? So his mindset Friday was:

“I’m not playing Sunday so I mine as well go out and get drunk. I don’t want to dress up though so I’m just going to wear sweatpants. Whoops, almost forgot my gun, you know in case anyone tries to steal my chain…”

Are you serious? What a fucking retard. So the gun slips and he shoots himself in the leg. That’s the story we’re all told anyways. He then tells Antonio Pierce to take him to the hospital. There he checks in under an alias, Harris Smith, and somehow convinces the hospital not to report the gun shot wound. That he told them happened at an Applebee’s. I’m sure the folks from Applebee’s are pretty happy about it.

So the felony that Burress committed carries a minimum of 2.5 years in jail and a maximum of 15 years. Do we want to place bets on him getting off scott free? New York’s mayor, presumably a Jets fan, said that he wants Burress charged and convicted. What about Pierce? I think we could throw a conspiracy or aiding and abetting on him. While we’re at it let’s get Applebee’s in the mix with a defamation or slander suit against Burress.

If I’m the Giants I get the hell away from this guy as quick as possible. Fuck all this presumed innocent bullshit. This guy knowingly carried a loaded gun into a club, with the safety off apparently, in a state where he has no license to do so.

Here’s a highlight list of his season (thanks ESPN):

• Oct. 5: Suspended for game against the Seahawks and fined $117.5K after missing a team meeting for “family issues,” which he said included having to pick his son up from school.

• Oct. 24: Fined total of $45K for three violations and penalties in a game vs. the 49ers, including verbally abusing an official during the game, “inappropriate” comments about officiating after the game and $5K for throwing a football into the stands.

• Oct. 26: Held out of the first quarter of a 21-14 victory in Pittsburgh after missing treatments for a neck injury.

• Friday: Suffered accidental, self-inflicted gunshot wound at a Manhattan nightclub.

• Monday: Charged in Manhattan court on two counts of felony possession of a weapon in the second degree.

So between this guy and Stephon Marbury, I would say that the New York sports scene is a mess. A mess with two first place football teams and a first place hockey team. I guess life isn’t that bad in New York, but for Marbury and Burress, life is not good at all.

Before I get into it I have to say that Friday’s Causeway Day was awesome. For the second year in a row both the Bruins and the Celtics won but unlike last year when the Bruins lost on Saturday, they won this year on Saturday. So heading into Sunday I was riding a pretty high Boston sports wave. Four wins for the Bruins and Celtics combined in two days and BC clinched a spot in the ACC Championship game.

I woke up and checked the forecast. Now, for most of the week leading up to the game we’d known there would be some weather issues. When I checked weather.com they said that it was a 45% chance of showers pretty much from 3PM until the rest of the afternoon. Having gone to that shitty Jets game a couple years ago with only a cheap poncho I was prepared. I had more than enough stuff to keep me dry and the only thing I didn’t have was rain pants.

As I was driving to get the tickets I started hearing a freezing rain pelting my window. Let me just say that would be fine. Freezing rain just bounces. But my buddy Dan told me it was only going to be getting warmer as the day went on. Unfortunately, warmer just meant into the 40’s.

After a wonderful tailgate in Bob’s heated tent where we watched the Giants and Clots games (kept flipping) we took a couple swigs of Grandpa’s hooch and headed back to my car to gear up. Layers upon layers and a nice waterproof jacket on top of everything. We should be fine.

We made our trek up the endless ramp to the heavens where our seats are, sit down and open a couple cold, delicious Coors Lights that we were able to sneak into Gillette. Then the rain really started whipping. Now it’s not too bad but the lighting for the stadium catches rain and drops monster drops on the people sitting right underneath. That’s us!

So now we’re not even through the first quarter and my pants are soaked. My money is soaked, wallet soaked, and cell phone may never work again. But I’m tough, just drink some more and you won’t notice how wet and awful everything is. Well, that idea works so long as you never have to go to the bathroom. With about five minutes left in the half I make the call to hit the head.

Gillette bathrooms are much nicer than Fenway, but the lines aren’t much better. There are 300 guys trying to use 20 urinals all at the same time. Pealing through layers to go to the bathroom, not fun. So we seek shelter under the stands for halftime and grab some more food. As I’m sitting there and the wind is whipping at my face and my head is soaked, I make the call. After two Moss drops in the end zone and a missed field goal, I didn’t think this was going to end well. Good call as we listened to them get slammed in the second half.

My buddy Dan was cool with leaving as his gloves were now making puddles in his fingertips. As we’re walking down the ramps to the parking lot I couldn’t help but think to myself how much this experience really just sucked. It’s not the rain or the cold but the combination of the two that really sucks. Meanwhile Jeff was sitting in 70 degrees in AZ. I see a move in my future.

So my headline is “Possibly My Last Trip To Gillette”. Well, I use the word possibly because if someone has wonderful Fidelity tickets for me, I’ll head back to Gillette with the rich folks. For all that they’re mocked for staying inside, they may have it right. Why should I journey into the heavens at Gillette when I have a wonderful big screen TV in my nice, warm house? No $90 tickets, $40 parking, or $7 beers. Just a comfy couch, big TV, and cold beer just a walk to the fridge away.

I know I explained it last year, but a quick reminder to those of you that forgot.

Causeway Day is the day after Thanksgiving. It’s a marathon not a sprint. You see the Bruins and the Celtics. Not just one or the other. No girls allowed.

So I am off today for Causeway Day and Matty is taking me into Foxboro Sunday for the Steelers game. I’ll be back Monday bleary eyed and possibly still drunk.

Happy Causeway Day everyone. See you Monday.

I really have nothing coming into today. I touched on the Sox hot stove stuff yesterday and with no Celtics or Bruins game last night, there’s not much to talk about. So I’ll hit you with some randomness leading into a well deserved vacation for all.

Jarod Mayo has moved into fifth place in fan balloting for the NFL Pro Bowl. The thing is, it’s fan voting and the fan vote only counts for a third of the vote. He and Tedy Bruschi are fourth and fifth respectively. Now, Mayo absolutely deserves to be in Hawaii. He’s been a tackling machine out there and involved on every play. Tedy on the other hand has slowed in his advanced age. Let’s get the vote out there for Mayo and make him a rookie Pro Bowler.

Everyone home for the game Sunday will be ecstatic to know that Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf will announce the game for CBS. Remember last year when the Pats had the “A” team of Simms and Nantz for what seemed every game? It’s amazing what one injury does to CBS’s mentality. Who the hell wants to listen to Dierdorf? Uh…

Antonio McDyess has decided to return to Detroit. So the Celtics will have to look elsewhere for another PJ Brown-esque addition this season. Might I suggest they look down the bench and see that with Leon Powe, they don’t need to sign another big man. Leon Powe is the man. Just ask Steve-O.

Tony Massarotti reported in the Globe that the Sox are ready to break the bank to sign Mark Teixeira. Some rumors have it as high as 10 years at $20 million per. The Angels have set their sights on CC Sabathia so they may not be players in the Teixeira (never easy to spell by the way) sweepstakes.

The Bruins will play the Sabres tonight who they beat 7-4 last time. Let’s hope they keep their winning ways alive for Friday’s showdown with the Islanders. Friday’s Bruins game may be the only game I get to this season. I’d like to see a fight, but more importantly a win.

Taking Turkey Day off and Causeway Day is Friday. We’ll see what I can post in the next couple days. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

This baseball off season has been pretty good to me. On a day when Boston sports has nothing going on rumors start to trickle out of Yawkey Way and give me something to write about. That’s a good thing considering your first place Bruins and Celtics are off until Wednesday night.

Let’s start with the Jason Varitek rumor. WEEI, Peter Gammons, and the Boston Herald were all reporting yesterday that the Sox had offered Varitek a one year contract not in the neighborhood of the $13.1 million that Jorge Posada signed last year. Bad news for Lauren, Buster Olney reported the Red Sox are preparing, full steam ahead, to play 2009 without Jason Varitek.

I’m split on this for two reasons. If the Sox sign Teixeira, Mike Lowell is gone. To lose Lowell and Varitek is losing a lot of that veteran leadership in the clubhouse. I think that if Varitek wants to come back he will, but with Boras pulling the strings he may end up leaving for more years/money. The Sox need to abandon the idea that Wakefield needs his own valet catcher and get a young guy platooning with Varitek. This way Tek grooms the young guy with the staff and prolongs his career by not being overused.

The other news from the Sox front office yesterday was that they were close to signing Japanese import Junichi Tazawa. The report said the Sox were offering him a contract in the $6 million range. A similar report said that he had already made the decision to sign with the Sox for 3 years at $3 million a year and the deal should be done by early December.

So the question begs, who is Junichi Tazawa? I’ve heard he’s no Daisuke Matsuzaka. Rumors had him in the mid-nineties, but here’s a scouting report I found:

“His fastball is 88 to 93 [mph],” said a scout for one team who declined to be named. “He has a forkball, a curve, but the command of his fastball is so-so. His lower body is stiff.”

No news on Teixeira other than the rumor that he’s leaning towards an East Coast team. That could be the Sox, Yankees, Nationals, or Orioles. He said he wants this all done by Christmas, so let’s hope Sox fans get a nice present in the middle of the lineup before Christmas.

Back tomorrow with who know what.