Yesterday afternoon I got kind of excited. I mean Chris Carpenter for Theo Epstein, what a sweet deal!
Then I read the article. Wrong Chris Carpenter.
Thing is, I’ve chronicled it before on these pages but it’s worth repeating, Theo wasn’t as good as everyone remembers. He really wasn’t.
Don’t give me the 2004 argument either. Dan Duquette built most of that team. Theo just put the finishing touches, including the Nomar trade.
But remember the reason they needed Foulke was because Jackass Theo thought you didn’t need a closer. Remember bullpen by committee? Yeah, wunderkid Theo’s brainchild. Then he traded for Byung Hung Kim when bullpen by committee blew up in his face. Another stupid Theo trade.
Jeff Suppan, Eric Gagne, the aforementioned Kim, Theo’s wake is littered with a lot of shitty trades and bad signings. Had the Cubs sent us a used pitching machine and a bag of balls, the Sox should have been grateful.
So they get a Chris Carpenter that will likely amount to nothing, at least we don’t have to deal with Theo anymore. Though we have his stupid clone puppet Ben, we can at least blame Uncle Larry for the shitty season we’re set to endure. Then hopefully Old Man Henry will can Lucchino’s ass.