What I Learned From Japan

You wanted a recap of the Celts 56th (that’s right) win, but tough. I already knew what I wanted to write.

I know it’s only two games and I shouldn’t be ready to jump off a bridge or anything but I’d like to highlight some of the shit that I saw getting my ass up at 6:05AM Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

We’ll start with the obvious.

Japan loves Dice-K. During the broadcast Wednesday, a game he wasn’t pitching mind you, the cameras kept switching over to him and it caused Remy and The Don to go into a laughing fit in game two of the season.

But we also learned that control wasn’t something he picked up in the off-season. I know the team had a full bullpen to waste considering they don’t have a meaningful game until Tuesday, but seriously cut the shit. Throw fucking strikes! You have a defense out there for a reason.

Also we learned that SARS is still something you need to be afraid of as noted below.

We also learned that Lauren’s favorite player, Jason Varitek, still can’t fucking hit. He started off the season with an impressive two day showing of 0-8 with count ‘em 6 strike outs and a nice ground out in a double play. Is there anything more automatic than Varitek hitting into the double play? Besides perhaps John Wasdin giving up gopher balls “WAY BACK!!!!”?

Somehow when the TV shows Moss playing in right field my brain automatically registers “Randy?”. He went from hero with his ninth inning homerun Tuesday to a nice 0-3 with 3 K’s performance on Wednesday and being optioned to Pawtucket. Good job buddy now get on the bus.

While we’re on the subject of Moss, does it bother anyone else that JD Drew didn’t play? It bothers me! $14M homerun be damned. This guy is more fragile than Lawrence “Sandy Vag” Maroney! He sneezes and misses a month. What a fucking mistake this guy is/was. Thank you Theo for getting on your knees and taking it from Scott Boras on that one.

Apparently John Lester went to the Dice-K school of control. This guy had the same issues. Stop being so fucking scared that you need to squeak it over the corner. If the umps are calling a tight zone you need to adjust, throw strikes and rely on the defense.

Papi had a nice 0-7 series as well fouling out a couple times. Is his knee healthy? He didn’t have any homeruns during the spring, but knocked the shit out of the ball against the Japanese Giants.

The only positive I really took out of this fucking ridiculous tri[ was Manny. Interviewed at a luncheon Wednesday he indicated that he wants to get his 500th home run by the end of April and would prefer it to happen at Fenway. Then proceeded to go out and hit a home run getting him that much closer. Add that two his 2 doubles on Tuesday and you have to be confident that last year was a fluke and Manny will bounce back.

The bottom line is, as I indicated above, it’s only 2 games into the season. But really, you’re facing the Athletics! They have a team of all rookie boys and I didn’t recognize pretty much anyone. And you manage to stink it up offensively? Three series in three countries I’m sure doesn’t help but this was the beginning of the trip, not the end.

Wake the fuck up and start hitting!