February 25, 2008...9:01 pm
No Schill, No Problem
Theo will just call Fat Bastard Express and order a new one. Enter Bartolo Colon (shown below looking for the hot dog guy).
Is this guy the same pitcher that’s 3 years removed from his Cy Young win? Nope. But is there really any risk? None what-so-ever. The Sox signed him to a minor league deal and invited him to camp as a non-roster invitee.
So you have this porker coming in as an insurance clause for Fatty Schilling who has a shoulder just like his butt buddy John McCain. He won’t be able to lift his arm above his shoulder, that makes it pretty tough to pitch so he’ll sit at home and collect his $8 million.
In essence it’s the classic Duquette signing or even a Theo signing. Bret Saberhagen was decent for this team as was Ramon Martinez. Neither great but did alright for the team. Theo signed Wade Miller and he started 16 games for us and went 4-4 and had an ERA around 5.
I like the risk/reward of the signing. Hey, if he starts a dozen games for you and has an ERA around 4 or even 5 I think you get your money’s worth. If he all of a sudden can avoid KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, hire a nutritionist and hit the treadmill we may get the bargain of the decade.
Only time will tell.
8 Comments
February 25, 2008 at 10:23 pm
If Schill doesn’t pitch, he ain’t seeing hardly any of that money. His contract is almost entirley based on performance clauses. Incentive anyone?…. This Colon stuff is a no brainer. All upside unless he and his buddy Manny start getting insubordinate. They are old friends and knowing both their tendancies to goof off, and also slack off, Im a little weary. Time will tell…….. -Shake It UUuppp!
February 26, 2008 at 10:45 am
Glad to see another fat (not “phat”
pitcher.
February 26, 2008 at 11:12 am
I don’t think he can match the size of El Guapo our old reliever. We should just call Colon, Lard Ass.
February 26, 2008 at 11:58 am
I like the Stand By Me reference from Big J, but I still don’t think this guy is as big as CC Sabathia. He is Jaba the Hutt like
February 26, 2008 at 7:19 pm
He’s about the same size as David Wells or Big J circa 1997.
February 26, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I don’t think Big J was ever that big.
Had you said Minish you may be on to something
February 27, 2008 at 2:02 am
Good point
February 27, 2008 at 9:02 am
Any other teams have such hefty men on their staffs- Colon, Well, El Guapo. What other fatties are out there? El Guapo was the only consistent one for two years.
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