Theo will just call Fat Bastard Express and order a new one. Enter Bartolo Colon (shown below looking for the hot dog guy).
Is this guy the same pitcher that’s 3 years removed from his Cy Young win? Nope. But is there really any risk? None what-so-ever. The Sox signed him to a minor league deal and invited him to camp as a non-roster invitee.
So you have this porker coming in as an insurance clause for Fatty Schilling who has a shoulder just like his butt buddy John McCain. He won’t be able to lift his arm above his shoulder, that makes it pretty tough to pitch so he’ll sit at home and collect his $8 million.
In essence it’s the classic Duquette signing or even a Theo signing. Bret Saberhagen was decent for this team as was Ramon Martinez. Neither great but did alright for the team. Theo signed Wade Miller and he started 16 games for us and went 4-4 and had an ERA around 5.
I like the risk/reward of the signing. Hey, if he starts a dozen games for you and has an ERA around 4 or even 5 I think you get your money’s worth. If he all of a sudden can avoid KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, hire a nutritionist and hit the treadmill we may get the bargain of the decade.
Only time will tell.